Women Don't Owe You Pretty by Florence Given

Admittedly, this isn’t a book I was expecting to read. Nor was it on my radar at all. I was hanging out with a friend and asked, “What’s your favorite book?” She handed me this, filled with Post-It notes and with a worn front and back cover. I really appreciated that and committed to reading this with an open mind. That was necessary because, as you can imagine, I’m not the target audience for a book like this.

As I was reading, I had some strong gut reactions to what was being said. No doubt these reactions arose from a mixture of surprise, denial, and anger. I had thoughts of

• Not all men are like this!
• I’m not like this!
• Is this really what women deal with?

Alas, many men are like this, I’ve been like this, and yes, women do really deal with all of these things.

I can say without a doubt that I agree with a good chunk of what was said and the advice given. My main issues with this book are how these things are said and the general lack of substance at certain points.

As one woman’s manifesto I think this book does a great job. But it bills itself as an introduction to feminism and in that regard I feel it’s lacking. Interesting points are brought up but remain unexplored in any deep sense. The chapters are short and focus on catch-all statements rather than meaningful analysis. I came away from this book knowing more of the struggles of women but my understanding of these struggles is still shallow.

At times, Given reaches into the hat of empty self-help sayings and sprinkles a few throughout the page. Self-help and feminism need not be mutually exclusive but resorting to tired cliches is a recipe for boringness and many eye rolls.

With all of that said, I do see why my friend loves this book. It is unapologetic and staunch in its support of women and many other marginalized groups. It doesn’t shy away from uncomfortable topics. And it can give a much needed kick to someone when they need it.

All in all, I’ve decided to dig further into feminist literature because of this book. I’m curious to see what’s out there and explore the enduring works that have shaped today’s writers like Given.